The Importance of Routines for Kids and Tips for Establishing Them

This time of social distancing is a stretching one. Even if you were normally at home with your kids, suddenly your options for activities has become much more limiting. Life is taking on new norms.

As you are establishing what those new norms are, perhaps juggling working at home while caring for kids or helping your kids make the transition into online learning, here are a few thoughts on the importance of routines, and tips for how to establish them. Routines will look different for every family and child, but hopefully these tips can help as you figure out what this looks like for your family.

The Importance of Routines

Children thrive when there are set rhythms and routines in place. Routines give them a sense of security, which can lower stress levels, anxiety, and misbehavior and even help build confidence and independence as they begin initiating the routines themselves. Routines can create a greater sense of peace and safety as kids know what to expect and what is expected of them.

Intentional, well-thought out routines help build character, good habits, and self-discipline in kids as they learn the importance of self-care and helping the family. Intentional routines also show your kids what you value, such as family time, gratitude, and quality bonding time.

Routines teach kids a greater sense of self-control as boundaries are placed on activities and fun is balanced with responsibility. They also give your kids things to look forward to and anticipate throughout the day and week.

Having routines does not have to be a rigid structure though. A certain amount of unscheduled, free time helps kids learn how to deal with unpredictability and change. Adjustments in the normal routine can be good and bring excitement for particular activities. While routines are important, so is balanced spontaneity.

Ultimately, routines are meant to be a source of freedom, not of stress and burden.

Tips for Creating Routines

Start small. If currently few routines are in place, start small and focus on the most important things, such as bedtime and meal-time routines. Take some time to reflect on what is most important to your family, and what will create the greatest sense of peace, and prioritize those things.

Take your time and adjust as needed. Progress is more important than perfection. As you begin to implement routines, you will be learning what works best for you and your family. Create schedules for each day, and gradually work into set routines as you see what works.

Give yourself and your child grace. Expect moving from unstructured time to structured time to be difficult at first. Prepare yourself for resistance from your children. That is alright and normal. Simple parts of the routine may take much longer than expected as kids get used to. Things like chores (I call these "helping times" to establish a sense of teamwork as a family) and other activities involving responsibility may not be easy for your kids at first. Keep practicing these routines with your kids; they will get better at them.

Remain consistent. As you begin figuring out what works best for your family, focus on being very consistent, especially at first. You are establishing the healthy foundation for these rhythms, which takes extra time and energy. Consistency during the beginning stages is very important.

Expect to reteach. Be prepared to go over the routine several times and to remind your kids of why you have established certain routines in the day.

Acknowledge when you are deviating from the norm. Sometimes life interrupts our plans; sometimes we just want to do something different. As said before, spontaneity can be a good thing, however, it is also helpful to acknowledge when you are changing the normal routine. It can be as simple as saying, "Normally we go to the park on Saturday mornings, however, because your aunt is in town, we are going to be having breakfast at her house." Once your kids become used to structure, it is helpful to recognize when you are differing from it.

Establish special times in the routine and times to look forward to. As you are establishing your routines, make sure they reflect your values, such as family time. Prioritize things like special time with mom or dad, reading and cuddling time, Saturday morning adventures, cooking together, and times of gratitude. The routines you create are opportunities for helping your kids live out what you know to be important.

Plan with your kids. If your kids are older, ask what routines they would like to see put in place and what they think would be helpful. It will give them a sense of ownership and responsibility.

Additional Things to Consider Including in Your Routines

Adjust as needed for your child's age:

• Independent/Quiet Time

• Helping Time/Chores

• Exercise (there are great yoga and dancing tutorials on youtube)

• Reading Time (Help older kids find subjects that interest them, encourage them to read and study independently)

• Journaling Time